drama goes on

i know the truth myself . .

reason i'm awake : the words from this evening is STILL haunting me . .

it kept on repeating on my head . i bet she must be smiling in her sleep now.

that made me think . was it her that told him about our arguments? was she the one convinced him to say those words indirectly to me ? because usually he wont talk this way towards me . IM SO UPSET . now i don't really trust the person who i used to trust.

are they reading my blog ? was it someone reported this to them ?

why is she making my life so miserable. I HATE IT SO MUCH because SERIOUSLY IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER .


honestly it is so random and out of the blue that he suggested those kind of words to me..after she asked the question . I FELT THE AWKWARDNESS AFTER THAT . THEN IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP AND SO ON..

WELL if it came from him, i would be relieved a little,and still upset . bcos hello? it left me in '?!'

i need a place 2 crash for a few days . I'M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS DRAMA AND CRAP . i hate myself so much now and it's so easy for them to say . sometimes i wish to put her on my foot . easier to say than done .

felt a stab on my heart .eyes swollen . tears kept on rolling down .

i am an angry child.

i think i only come to blog when i am unhappy/having problem.

HATEFUL POST AHEAD.

i'm so sick of having to be surrounded by pretentious.boastful human.liars.user.betrayers and you-name-it. (the categories above is including myself)

I guess it is not possible to avoid this fact of life.the fact that everyone will compare what they have with what others have.



IM SO ANGRY SHE IS ALWAYS SIDING HIM . IM SO ANGRY THAT SHE IS ALWAYS PITYING HIM .

I'M SO ANGRY AT HIS PRETENTIOUS BEHAVIOR THAT HE BEHAVES IN FRONT OF HER .

I'M SO ANGRY HOW HE ALWAYS TREAT ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAM MEMBER LIKE AN OUTSIDER .
AS IF , HE'S ALREADY BECAME PART OF OUR FAMILY .

I'M SO ANNOYED WITH HIS LOUD-TALKING ON THE PHONE AT 3AM OR MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT REGARDING FOOTBALL BET . THE LOUD VOLUME FROM TV . IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SLEEP, THE REST OF US NEED TO REST . SO INCONSIDERATE AND SO OBNOXIOUS . I ALREADY TOLD HIM COUNTLESS OF TIME TO LOWER DOWN VOLUME . STILL THE SAME ONCE IN A WHILE . ZZZ .

SOMETIMES I FELT LIKE CHANGING THE HOUSE LOCKS THROWING HIS STUFF OUTSIDE THE HOUSE .
(I ONCE TOLD HER, SHE SAID THAT IT'S NOT RIGHT,BECAUSE HE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG TO ME) GODDDD SHE IS STILL PITYING HIM .

SERIOUSLY, HOW CAN HE NOT BE EMBARRASSED,STAYING AT SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE WITHOUT PAYING A SINGLE CENT FOR ALMOST 8 YEARS . I'M SERIOUS 8 YEARS . YET HE STILL COMPLAINS ABOUT ME AND ONE OF MY FAM MEMBER FOR NOT BEING GOOD AND NOT HELPFUL . HOW CAN SHE STILL SIDES ON HIM WHEN HE NEARLY MURDER ONE OF HER OWN DAUGHTER .

how can my breakfast can be shittier than him ?


'Are you still studying or working already ?'
I give you all my respect,from the bottom of my heart. ONLY if you have some respect for me.ONLY APPLIES if you did not show off/criticize/compare me .

if you happen to do one of above stated..

HONESTLY I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WORK BEFORE ME OR ALREADY FOUND A JOB BEFORE GRADUATING . SO SHUT THE HELL UP GO AND ENJOY YOUR FANTASTIC WORKING LIFE.

i have my own life . I WANT TO ENJOY TO IT'S LIMIT FIRST . i know i am immature and irresponsible . let it be . let me feel the guilt WHILE YOU EARN MONEY.

i'm so annoyed at some people rushing me to work , when my dad never/have not said a word about job .



how can he went and suggested to her that , he has a friend that works in the design industry can help me with my job(why must he directly tell her first without saying anything to me)when he does not know which industry he/she from? all he knows is that he/she came back from overseas. it can mean that she went for holiday and it could be interior or architecture.

seriously , i'm GETTING so sick of her genes and behavior too .

why she kept on thinking that i'm the last one among my friends that started working ?! the truth is.. im not the last one among my friends/classmates (please note that , i'm not making myself feel better here)

AND SHE ALREADY BOASTED THAT I ALREADY RESTED UP TO 2 YEARS . BULLSHIT! ( i never have that kind of intention resting up to 2 years )

i already planned to go back last month . she complained again , i would waste the sg dollars staying on rented place . so i applied job online and she nags again . eeeeeeeeeek !

OH GOD I HATE ALL THIS 'COMPARING ACHIEVEMENTS , WEIGHT , JOB , BEAUTY , BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOR ' CANNOT BE MORE A LITTLE SUPPORTIVE OR ACCEPT ME ?!

MAYBE SHE CAN'T , BECAUSE I CAN'T ACCEPT HER AT SOME POINT .