ilove.

mmm . . .

i love his smell .

i love my fluffy pillow .

i love the smell of my towel .

i love his shoulders and arms .

i love the texture of the leather seats .

i love how i'm able to strip and sleep without worrying .

i love . love . love to be around loved ones :)

booyah . home is the comfiest place i would not want to leave .

Graduated!!!

It's really a shocker that it's all over .

I'm back from Singapore and now I'm a graduate ! That was the greatest feeling after almost 3 years studies in Singapore .

It wasn't that easy for me alright .

I was just an average . slow and a lazy student , i skipped a few classes too . due to my refusal (procrastination , laziness , irresponsibility , immaturity , loss of interest due to dramas from OTT lecturers/ arrogant classmates) to turn my assignments exactly on time . With the reason above , obviously some of my classmate/juniors look down/made nasty comments on me . just because i had to re-do a few modules .

after leaving the 'over the top' institute , slowly i've realised how immature i was , i start to wake up from my mistakes , i want to get over this shit really bad . buck up and gave my best shot to the transferred school . however , it got even more worst . the lecturer expects a lot from me . she gave me whole lot of stress . she kept on rejecting and made me redo what i have done so much .

Just imagine , same shit different semester . workloads are triple for me .

Honestly, i don't really like the lecturer towards the end of the semester . she got more and more fussy , what a bitch! how can she say and do such things to me . very offending . very unprofessional . i lost my respect to such person .

although i did not manage to get the scholar (looking at the bright side, at least i need not to leave home and loved ones) . i'm still very happy with what i have achieved .

I graduated on 20th Aug. Back to Subang the very next morning .
I haven't started looking for a job in my field yet . Really going to take a good rest eat . shit . gym . sleep .

By finishing this course I've realized that ANYONE that puts in some time and hard work can succeed .

Honestly this is NOT a post for me to showoff , i'm just so FUCKING relieved to be done with college finally ,
hopefully subconsciously i can get over it . i hope i do not need to dream having to do more drafting.sewing.tracing.cutting and sewing and unpicking!

Going out from this circle sometimes worries me too .

Now , i can go and curse you directly on your face , (i still remember who were you bitches) said that they don't think i can make it , honestly i think the stories/gossip being told was over exaggerated , my juniors kept on messaging , asking if i'm still studying / working . i still remember how they always made fun of it . it hurts me last time , but not now . i've learned to let go such things . but not forgotten .

fuck you . i've made it !!!

excited

OMG it's monday . no no no i'm not having monday blues ,
since my class is on wed.thurs.fri .

i'm so looking forward !!!!
*dance in circles*
mummy please try not to spoil my plan .

haha . it's monday only i'm so FULL with shitty assignments :(
but i bet time is gonna fly real fast . . .
i'm so excited!!!

ok . i'm already packing early lol! :)


looking forward to see everyone and kitty back at home.
till then , much love to all .

i'm dying for hugs & pat on the back/head . HAHAA .
*sniffs VIPS* <--- ok it sounds so wrong .lol!

*yawn*

hello .

been away , been busy procrastinating . *proud* however this post is going to be quite long , and some certain sensitive issue ahead .



in case you don't know , I HAVE NOT DIED SUFFERING FROM H1N1 , the doctor CONFIRMED that i am FULLY recovered from H1N1 with Tamiflu medication . got my appetite back .

Thank You VIPS , Family and Dear Friends for your concerns , words , love and support , much love to all . xx ♥

the only thing bothering me now is my voice . i hope you are not annoyed with me whining this problem . honestly it has become a problem to me . especially when i'm away from loved ones . no one is able to help me much .


i felt so angry and pissed at some certain people . *strangle* whoever -it- is that pisses me off .

i've encountered with a few people that gave me that fucking disgusting annoyed look and a LOUD HUH ?! , when they can't hear me / making enquiries / ordering food . THANK YOU FOR BEING SO RUDE . FOR YOUR INFO , I NEVER WANTED TO LOSE MY VOICE.
I NEVER WANTED TO BE UNABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLY , I NEVER WANTED TO BE SCREAMING MY THROAT OFF (only small voice came out)
i think i got curse/karma for my bad behavior in the past . WELL, i THANK YOU. I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON .

how i wish that you are on my condition and on my feet to experience my problem .


i've skipped gym and running while i fell sick . basically i nearly died from BP on last Thurs . i got owned by the dead lifts , my legs were shaking really bad . *dies* and i can't walk properly the next day ... problem walking up the stairs. PAIN .


things aside , i have been having retail therapy . shopping .
purchased :

-killer heels and bag from ninewest

-ipod classic 120GB


-shoes.pants.cap from adidas by stella mccartney (good service from jeffrey@ novena's adidas and i noticed his gorgeous smile)



- jeans from zara

and so on..


class has been boring . same shit diff days , finally the same lecturer came back . *sigh*
the pressure she gave me ... SHITTY ONES . *annoyed*


daddy scolded me for peeling off the chapped/dried skin on my lips , yes it bleed .
*scold scold scold* then he asked me how to get my lips recover when i don't apply lip balm :(
sorry daddy . he has been checking on me . phone calls ...


OH YA BEFORE I FORGET , WHILE PURCHASING MY BUTTONS FOR JEANS... THIS AUNTIE ASKED ME IF I WAS A GUY . BECAUSE OF MY VOICE . MANGKUK . -.-|||
OK THIS IS BAD , I SOUNDED LIKE A TRANNY AYE ?! I HAVE NO TITTIES EYYY ??!


ok gtg sleep. tired . the landlord just had a quarrel with the gf . noisy .

stop being pushy

i've completed Tamiflu medication . finally . i'm getting my voice back... bit by bit .

dad came and visit me on sat , and left on sunday evening .

i'm extremely disturbed with the landlord's act . who is he to advice my dad what love is when he himself is not settled down .

in case you don't know, i'm dad's little girl , my dad is my everything , my hero , a very good leader in the family. my conclusion is , my dad is better than any other man that i have ever met . no one can replace him .EVER

i'm so annoyed that the landlord was being all pushy, making my dad to stay for lunch . wtf, he doesn't understand , people already had lunch , mati-mati also make my dad stayed and have his lunch . poor thing , daddy . ate double .

my dad asked him not to trouble himself , he told my dad money is not a problem .

MY ASS , money is not a problem . it seems like , it IS a VERY BIG problem when i asked him , if it is ok to pay half of what i usually pay for room renting , when i'm away for holiday .

after making my dad stay for lunch , he started all the rubbish , telling my dad how he took care of me. he brought me food. And all the bullshit you can imagine , he made my dad to thank him then state no need to thank . OMG I CANNOT TAHAN LAH .

sheesh the longer it is , the more annoying he became . drunk talk maybe . my dad layan saja...



anyways i need to sleep now, going back to classes tomorrow. i hope this week is THE last week before the term break.

more suprises ?

i was coughing like an old man yesterday .

today i was woken up by Ben through phone call .

i picked it up i thought i had a nightmare , when i had the trouble speaking out . Ben was like 'what happened to your voice and chuckled to himself' so i thought i was having a dream , i hung up the call and ask myself to get up from this dream . which i was already awake...

this sickness never fail to disappoint and upset me day by day . it's going to be a week now.

i lost my voice .

the 2nd call came... i was basically shouting already ... a very squeeky little sound came out . i was so frustrated .

then my dad smsed me , asking me to go online ... i was able to reply him after 2 hours ... :$
i was sleeping . he is coming to see me tomorrow . i told him there is no need to as i'm recovering , he insisted and said my mum would like to come too . in the end he told me he is coming alone as mom have not recovered .

i had trouble ordering take away . no one seem to be able to understand . i have to whisper to them . zzz.

Tamiflu

i thought the doc wasn't serious when he told me .
i always thought that the swine flu/h1n1 was something small and it was overly exaggerated .
i was so wrong .

i'm now in the path of recovering . thanks to my family and friends especially to my dad. giving me words,checking on me , and made sure im ok . I LOVE YOU DADDY. it means very much to me . i still have to report to him whatever is not right.


i teared up this morning. very badly . :$ i was on the q to book my name since 8.30am , i was standing outside the clinic , trying to make sure that i'm at the front q , and i don't understand why the doc always turn up very late . basically i was like a zombie,i did not have breakfast because i lost my appetite.walking to the clinic back and forth.

since i have so much free time , i shall post something regarding this . i have my MC till friday. wooo!


daddy asking my sis to cheer me up.HAHAA.


the usual reaction when i gave my dad the sad face . 'ok'



yes,laugh all you can . it took a lot of guts for me to post this pic up.HAHA


max

the beginning

medication that cost me a bomb . but tamiflu was awesome , instantly my fever temperature dropped.that drug is so strong , i don't like the feeling .

now i have difficulties when i see this amount of medicine. kill me better . after days of taking medications , i hate the feeling . all drowsy and no energy .

ok gonna sleep . my back hurts so much after lying on the bed so long . i wonder how my grandma went through lying on the bed for years. :(

take care all
xx

oh my

And the sudden hike 39.5 celcius .
i have been sleeping since yesterday.

sick

last night i finally went to see the doc , after measuring my temperature myself .
it took me about 1 1/2 hour on queue. that was like the longest 1 1/2 hour i reckoned . baby screaming & screeching worsen it . my head was throbbing and i'm coughing like mad , dry cough.

the doctor confirmed that i'm 90% getting H1N1 , if my fever doesn't go down in 2 days then i have to get the test done. i do not know those words are meant to scare me or what but CHOY!!!

i was having infected and flaming red throat , dry cough , fever and headache. i'm having 38.5 degrees . no flu .

he suggested me to on the aircon & fan + no blanket , basically i was shivering and in the end i covered up myself with blanket . this is to make the fever go down , then he told me the no's which basically made me O.O

no exercise for a week . no going out . no this no that .

i just woke up , my fever is gone now. head is not throbbing. but still coughing

xx

O.O

at first i'm so excited . now i don't know .

going out from this circle is a bit scary .

my dad would prefer me to work here in singapore :|

i definitely would want to work here for a few months, maybe not for long term .

i'm coughing my throat out now, i think it is the bin bin crackers i had and i did not drank enough water.

It Feels So Good

My head is going to crack soon.I'm having migraine , please don't drive me more nuts!
something has been bothering me very much. I CAN'T SLEEP . i'm not going to rely on honey , what if it doesn't work anymore?


I love being myself , and love expressing my own individuality , but nothing over the top . IS THIS A CRIME ?



I have been labeled as the arrogant girl. did i just portrayed wrong signals and this is where it has gotten me to?
MY GOD! why can't you just can't let me be myself?!


i don't talk much usually . this doesn't make me arrogant. i prefer this way, only talk when i suppose/need/have to . i'd rather not to be so chatty, because i know it annoys the shit out of other people . maybe i should do more greeting like 'hello & wave signal'. i tend to listen more. unless it's a topic i'm very keen/interested to.

it's not that i have annoyed someone.maybe i have, i do not know.I REALLY HOPE NOT.



talks too much/chatty = annoying
does not talk that much= arrogant


Yes it is understood that 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery'
but, sometimes people tend to be too much and take that a bit too far. does it bother you when people start to copy/behave exactly just like you,i'm talking about copycats.he/she will like whatever you like even though he/she doesn't.

is this insecurity?yes?

It also annoys me when people starts fights for absolutely NO REASON , never shuts up about themselves (ISN'T THIS IS ARROGANT?) , being so stalker-ish and too clingy.


i don't like pink colour.just because i'm a girl,it doesn't mean i have to like it.
STILL trying to brainwash me , i don't fancy pink colour .. how can you make me to like it ? can i force you to like the colour black ? liking dark colours doesn't mean i'm all negative , gloomy and dark.
I get so irritated when i'm looking for something in black , red , blue or grey and all they have is PINK . they even shove the above colours with pink on it . (oh i just realised that my texts here is pink ? or is it purple ? LOL!)

sometimes these idealistic people pisses me off.

i can go on and on about this . i rather not .

goodnight

this is what i thought , there is nothing wrong being yourself. i think it is cool.

miss

Dad called me few days ago when he got back from overseas, to check on me *smiles*
I guess he did not went to skype and chat, because the internet kaput-ed?

It's been long since i last saw my parents.about 2 months if not mistaken.made me miss them even more :(

Honestly apart of me wants to be at home, the other part of me rather want to be here. dilemma?

My mum fell sick.my brother was chatting with me on msn tonight,telling me he is having fever.i'm having this migraine and sore throat.i just had the lozenges.crappy taste.eurgh.

i wonder why so many people start falling sick these days ? guys, please take care of yourself (LOL! i can't even take care of myself)